Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
