And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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