Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
