I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am one with the molecules
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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