i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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