man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize