Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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