you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
