Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
