i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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