you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
