she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
