Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
