Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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