he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
