there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
