You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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