I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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