She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
me + whiskey = a bad person
Can you repeat that, but with context?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
