he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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