Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
