I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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