just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
