We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm at about main and main street
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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