He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
