That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
and she was petting her beer can
You're earring is so big in my mouth
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
