if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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