god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
