There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
