yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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