omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this just has baby written all over it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
