where am i from again
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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