2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
this hospital has no fireball
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
