Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
it glows. i had to have it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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