My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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