turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
