I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize