According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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