Me. At least after what I've been through.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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