Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
