Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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