we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
