why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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