i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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