That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
