Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
