his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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