he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
