I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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