I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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