i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
