OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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