Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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