theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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