If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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