capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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